The Skinny Jeans Incident
by Redrose001
Summary: Sherlock has an embarrassing item of clothing and this is the story of Sherlock's pink skinny jeans. This is a follow up story to 'The Rubber Duck Incident.'


Disclaimer: I do not own Sherlock and all rights belong to the BBC.

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It was fair enough to say that Sherlock was a rather fashionable man. He always had the best clothes from the most expensive brands that he wore daily, apart from those days when he just wore the sheet. The contents of his wardrobe could easily cost as much as several new sports cars, and that was just the shirts alone.

There is a known fact that is, that every person in the universe has a piece of clothing in their wardrobe that they are not proud of. It could be anything from a dress that they thought would look good on them, but it didn't, to an ugly sweater that their grandmother had knitted them and they just kept it out of politeness as they still want to be included in the will. And another fact about clothing is that despite telling yourself that you are going to get rid of it, you never do. Instead of throwing into the bin, you just let it get covered in dust and take up valuable wardrobe space.

Sherlock liked to think that he was not like an ordinary person, mostly due to his intelligence, but despite everything he did to try to avoid being classed as average; he fell in to the same pitfalls as the average person. Despite being very fashion conscious and having almost complete pride in his wardrobe, there was an item of clothing that Sherlock absolutely hated and he couldn't seem to get rid of.

You may think that this item was a dress or another item of women's clothing, (actually Sherlock did own a dress, but that wasn't considered his most embarrassing bit of clothing.) Or you even may think that the item of clothing was a pair of bunny footy pajamas. It wasn't even that.

To Sherlock Holmes the most embarrassing item of clothing that he owned was a pair of pink skinny jeans. To the people who found out about the skinny jeans, they were given the story about how Sherlock needed them for a case and he was needing to go undercover as a fairy in a school play.

However this story was completely fabricated. There was no case involving skinny jeans or anything like that. Sherlock created the story so that he would still keep his reputation for being the god of purple shirts and amazing cheekbones, that we all know and love. But the story about how he acquired the trousers was a lot less amazing than he liked people to think.

He was given the jeans of a gift from his grandmother. Compared to the story Sherlock made up, the true story was absolutely anticlimactic. But the real reason that Sherlock absolutely hated the jeans was that his brother was involved and when Mycroft got involved in things, it was basically the end of the world for his latest victim and that was when he didn't sit on them.

The story about how Sherlock got the trousers wasn't that exciting or amazing, but like all stories it must have a beginning. Sherlock was seventeen when his grandmother paid a visit to the Holmes family for the Christmas holidays. Every time when Grandmother paid a visit it would be one that would last the whole of the two and a half weeks of holidays. Grandmother's visits were pleasant for the first two days when the appeal of having the old crone about soon wore off as her rude and bossy nature soon shined through, and then the rest of the Holmes family would suffer for more than two weeks.

Despite Grandmother's rudeness and that she insulted everyone basically at every other sentence she spoke, she did have a good talent for buying gifts. Every year Sherlock and Mycroft would get something that cost a bit of money. From new bikes when they were younger to high-powered microscopes and fancy umbrellas as the years went past. But that year Grandmother decided that since the brothers were basically adults, she would buy them presents that would help them on their way to adulthood.

Once the whole family gathered around the Christmas tree the presents were getting passed around, Sherlock could hardly contain his joy and his curiosity for what he may get, Father had to tell him several times to stop moving as he would break something from his persistent moving about. Sherlock had hoped for a new text-book about different types of fungi, he would have gotten it months ago but Mummy had refused to get it -mostly as she was still a bit upset with the two boys after the rubber duck incident as she lost her chance to host anymore 'get togethers.' Sherlock was hopping that his grandmother would have enough sense to buy it for him as he had hinted for the book for months and had even resorted to try to bribe the old woman with offers of washing her dishes to even cleaning her dentures.

The gifts from Grandmother were always handed out last as it was a tradition of some sort that was passed down through several generations of Holmes's. Mycroft got his gift first and he was quickly disappointed. His gift was a pink tie that was covered in brightly colored flowers. It could only be described as looking like it had been in a crayon factory explosion - and that was the only nice way to describe it. After faking his enthusiasm for the horrible tie, Mycroft excused himself to leave the room so he could dispose of the hideous thing, but he was stopped from doing so when Grandmother asked when he was putting on the tie. Mycroft was soon forced into his room by Father who commanded that Mycroft should wear the tie, Mycroft's protests were unheard, as five minutes later Mycroft came back into the sitting room wearing the tie and the plaid suit that Grandmother had bought him the year before. As Mycroft was in the room the rest of the family held their breaths as Mycroft had his 'angry face' on and it looked if he was suppressing the urge to murder his grandparent for making him look like a clown. As Mycroft was getting fawned over by Grandmother, who was announcing to the whole room that Mycroft looked like 'a proper gentleman', his brother was in the process of wetting himself with laughter at his brother's expense. After Mycroft noticed that his brother was laughing at him, he suggested that they moved on to the next gift and he hopped that Sherlock would be getting something that was equally horrible or even worse.

It was known to everyone that knew the Holmes family that Sherlock wasn't the most popular at school and he didn't have any friends. Sherlock wasn't really bothered about the lack of friends as it meant that he could do his experiments without being disturbed by social protocol for the problems of gift giving and how to comfort a friend. Grandmother was concerned about Sherlock's lack of social life and was worried that the boy wasn't going to make any friends that were actually human, as his only friend was a skull who Sherlock claimed was his 'companion.'

As Grandmother passed the last gift over to Sherlock, she couldn't the help the smile that was growing on her face as she saw Sherlock jumping up and down on his seat. "I think that you are going to like this Sherlock. The man in the shop that this what all the boys your age are wearing and these will make you 'hip.' Maybe this will help you to make friends at school." Grandmother said as she handed the last present over. Sherlock noticed that Grandmother frowned while saying the word 'hip', that suggested that she didn't like the word. Sherlock deduced mentally, he would have said it out loud but his parents didn't like it when he deduced things as it tended to upset people and that was a reason he wasn't that popular at school.

Moment that Sherlock got the parcel in his hand and he felt the softness underneath the wrapping paper, he knew that it was going to be a bad gift. He was starting to get worried as the size of his present was bigger than Mycroft's and that meant that it was going to be hideous and more disgusting than his brother's gift.

"Aren't you going to open up your present?" Grandmother asked after she watched Sherlock poke and prod the present. "I spent lots of time and money on it."

"Sherlock, I think that you should open your present." Mycroft said in a sickly sweet tone. "Grandmother says it will help you make friends and I think you need to make some. Come on Sherlock, we all want to see it."

Sherlock rolled his eyes at his brother. "Mycroft, there are things in the world that we want but we can't get, just like you wanting to lose those last five pounds and we all know that is never going to happen."

"Contrary to your belief little brother, I have lost more than five pounds recently and I will continue loosing that excess weight."

Sherlock snorted loudly. "That is not going to happen Fatcoft. Don't think that I didn't see you eating all that cake last night, when you thought that no one was awake."

"I didn't do that Mummy." Mycroft said in a somewhat strained voice. "Sherlock, if you say something else, I will kill you in your sleep." Mycroft whispered into his brother's ear. "Don't think I won't."

"You won't doing anything of the sort!" Mummy shouted. "Mycroft stay quiet and stop complaining. Sherlock, just open that present right now and just be happy with it. And if the two of you misbehave or even think about anything of the sort, you two are going to be grounded."

"Yes Mummy." The boys chanted.

Sherlock looked at his gift once more and took in a deep breath as he started to open it. As he tore through the layers of shiny paper, he saw the glimpse of pink material. Sherlock internally groaned as he saw the material. He looked over at his brother who was silently laughing and holding his sides.

Sherlock tore open the rest of the paper and he uncovered his gift. Pink skinny jeans. Sherlock didn't know what was worse , the fact that they were pink or that they were covered in rhinestones and they had the words 'hot stuff.' embroidered on the backside.

Mycroft excused himself from the room and quickly walked into the hallway and started howling with laughter. Sherlock muttered something about his brother being an idiot.

Grandmother looked at Sherlock expectantly and nodded towards the trousers in Sherlock's hand. "I hope that you like them. I think that you will be popular at school with those trousers on."

Sherlock looked at his mother pleadingly for help, but she was trying to contain her laughing. Once she had gotten past her laughter she mouthed 'Say thank you' to Sherlock.

Sherlock sighed loudly and used his acting skills that he learned from his drama classes that Mummy made him take. "Thank you so much Grandmother for these lovely trousers." Sherlock replied in a strained tone as he fought the urge to scream, shout or even cry at his grandparent for buying him the trousers. "I think that I should keep them in my bedroom, so I don't get them dirty." Sherlock said as he stood up and made his way to the door.

"Don't worry about getting them dirty Sherlock." Grandmother said. "I think that you should wear them, I want to see if they fit you."

Sherlock sighed again and looked at his father for help, but father nodded his head towards the door and pointed to the trousers. Sherlock briefly wondered why his family hated him. Was it that he was too clever for his own good? Or were they still upset about the rubber duck incident? Sherlock wondered as he made his way into his room.

"How do you like the trousers?" Mycroft asked even though he was struggling with not laughing. "I think that pink is a lovely colour on you."

"And I think that you need to lose some weight." Sherlock retorted.

Mycroft clapped slowly. "That is the most brilliant insult that you have come out with. You should get an award for that."

Before Sherlock could tell his brother to shut up, he was cut off by the question of. "Are those trousers for girls?"

Sherlock sighed. " They are probably girls trousers. No trousers for men are that color and have the words of 'hot stuff' on them."

"Sherlock, it's not pink, its salmon." Mycroft giggled loudly. "And you tell me that you are the smart one, and yet you can't identify two colors from another. But they are definitely pink."

Sherlock shot a glare at his brother and muttered something about murdering his brother with a rubber duck. "I need to leave and put on my trousers." Sherlock said with the most dignity he could muster for someone who was carrying a pair of pink trousers. "I think that I may require some help putting them on."

Mycroft sighed. "You owe me one and I expect full payment or I might end up telling Mummy about who broke Father's telescope in a game of pirates. Or the time that I had to save you from being kidnapped by that French man. Or the fact that you got drunk at that dinner party and you got stuck in that window."

Sherlock groaned and handed Mycroft the jeans and he hopped that they would get the trousers on quickly, as this was the most humiliating thing he would have to experience.

After half an hour of struggling with the task of putting on the trousers -as they were rather tight, the brothers has managed to put them on, after falling over seventeen times and several uncomfortable moments that the two brothers vowed to never talk about again those moments again for the rest of their lives.

Sherlock found out that it was incredibly difficult to walk in skinny jeans as he found out that he couldn't move his legs past a certain height in those trousers. And due to this issue as he ended up waddling like a constipated penguin into the sitting room. Grandmother squealed and clapped her hands. "You look lovely Sherly!"

Sherlock rolled his eyes and he was about to make an offensive comment to the old woman, when the flash of a camera distracted him. Sherlock looked up and saw his brother with a brand new camera taking pictures.

"That is for the rubber duck incident! Now you can stop buying me rubber ducks." Mycroft shouted as he took several more pictures. Sherlock groaned and continued to get more pictures taken as Grandmother fawned over him.

That wasn't the end of Sherlock's suffering as he was forced to wear the pink trousers until the end of her visit. But luckily he did learn to walk properly in the trousers and put them on without Mycroft's assistance.

As the years went past, Sherlock ended up getting a pair of pink skinny jeans every Christmas. Despite his effort to throw them out, a new pair ends up magically appearing in his wardrobe.

You may think that this is the end of the story of Sherlock's hatred of having skinny jeans, but it is not.

After Sherlock had made a few more comments about Mycroft's weight. Some pictures were 'accidentally' leaked online of Sherlock wearing the jeans. And somehow posters of Sherlock in the jeans were posted around in the Yard, and Anderson managed to get hold of them and he started a website called: ' ' and it had over five thousand followers.

Even Lestrade set up a new 'law' that Sherlock had to wear the trousers to crime scenes. And even though Sherlock was fed up of the insults and questions from the officers about him being in a boy band and if he was screwing John. He was even given the nicknames of 'Pinky' and 'Hot Stuff' and even 'Sexy' - the last two nicknames were from the female officers who were obsessed with his appearance. He didn't want to lose out on going to the crime scenes and he was willing to put up with that for murders. Sherlock also learned that murder suspects don't take you seriously if you are wearing pink trousers, instead of giving you the truth, they just laugh at you.

And that is the story of Sherlock's pink skinny jeans. The truth wasn't as amazing as the story Sherlock fabricated, but it was still rather embarrassing. Sherlock still dreads the two weeks he has to spend at home for the holidays as it means that he has to still wear the trousers ,even though they have the possibly of cutting out his blood circulation at any moment as they are that tight.

However despite all of his suffering, Sherlock knew some embarrassing stories about Mycroft, such as when Mycroft ended up getting chased up a tree by a chicken. And he knew embarrassing stories about most people in the Yard, like when Anderson got in a fight with a twelve year old boy over dinosaurs and he ended up getting two black eyes.


End file.
